She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
