Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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