Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
