You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
