Pregnant stripper...not hot.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
