i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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