The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
i've created a new STD.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize