I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
