WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
