I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
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Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
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The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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