I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
