theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
How does it feel to date your dad?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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