ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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