apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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