You just made me feel so damn special
Screwed.edu
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
