I like to think it a success when the cops are called
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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