I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I wish life had little blips of pornography
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
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he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
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if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.