look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now