marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket