So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you mean i was at the winter classic?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
