I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize