I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
