It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
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