please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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