Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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