Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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