I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
50% drunk capacity currently
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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