Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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