I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
