i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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