i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You dont lie about slip and slides
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
