Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
