Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
