Ambien. No doubt about it.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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