He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
