You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
