Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She even gives head with a lisp.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
