how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
