i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
