Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
3 2 1 whiskey
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
