we're blogging at a bar
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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