Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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