Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
