my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
