Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
