he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
