My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
