I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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