i think i have herpe
just one?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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