first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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