Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
