yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
