It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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