Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I wish you could order shots online.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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