you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
