He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
