He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
