if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
