yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
