can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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