hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
