you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
