Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
