I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
