Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
