That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
