don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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