I need help removing her.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
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