i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
